im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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