Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
