thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
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I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
is that a dick in a sweater?
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