How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is my gift to your gina
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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