therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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