Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
