I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
