I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
