It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
