Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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