on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
How's work?
Spinning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize