Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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