just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The cops high fived after they tackled you
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize