just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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