I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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