If i come over, it means nothing
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
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You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.