Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too