The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
