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It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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