I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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