i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
