oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
