You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
