I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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