Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
