Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize