i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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