He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
