Do vagina's smell?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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