i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
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Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden