spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me