ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
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You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
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Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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