Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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