apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
