This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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