yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
