I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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