I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
