We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
