I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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