I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
