Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Come share oat with me in your robe
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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