Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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