How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
