I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
