I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
