Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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