...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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