So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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