Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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