maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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