I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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