so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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