I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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