I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
