But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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