now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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