i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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