I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
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Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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