so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
