i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
