Ambien. No doubt about it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
